Today marks the first day of school here, Aidan enters in the big world of grade 5, and my little princess Edina was just not ready enough to make grade 2, so grade 1 for her this year again. she is still the same age as the other kids and being as young as she is, this just gives her the extra time to succeed in her learning. It helps she has a great teacher that she loves and I know she is well taken care of while she is there.
I took the kids to school today instead of letting them take the bus, I had a dream the other night that Edina fell over backwards and could not get back up.( kinda like a turtle on it back). ;-) I just felt better knowing they both got there with out falling over due to the sheer weight of the backpacks.
After helping both kids unpack their school supplies, I hugged both and kissed Edina (Aidan told me it was not cool to kiss your mom in front of all the kids) geez they grow so fast. soon hugs won't be aloud. but for now I'll be thankful I can at least hug him tight.
I had a hard time saying good bye for the day to them, they will be home in a few hours and I miss them so much. I realized why after I got home, Grandma (my mom) used to phone the first day of school ad wish them a great day, not much but its things like this I miss, her love for all her grand kids ran deeper than I can say, she loved them all equally but each had a special piece of her heart.
Anyway I did promise you a funny posting about the kids being educated about where babies came from, so here we go.
A about 2 weeks ago, after working the day outside in the yard, we came in to get ready to start making supper, it was about 5ish I think. Aidan turned on the T.V. and was about to turn the channel to a kids program, when what was on caught his attention. I checked the info on it, and it said " the human body, the process from conception to birth" YUP he got a good microscope view of sperm. with a discussed look on his face as if it were worms or something else of grossness, he asked "mom what is THAT!" I simply told him it was sperm, and turned my back to see Edina and Rhiannon checking it out too. as they sat there watching it they asked me, yup you guessed "it what is sperm?". so with Eric shaking his head and telling me that I was opening a big bag of questions, I was on my own with it. I did think that I should change the channel to a more kid loved program, but it also passed my mind that I rather to be the one to explain to my kids not someone else this big question how are babies made? I have been asked lots about it and always gave the made from mommy and daddy's love answer to them. they were always happy with that, and it was easy.
I sat down with my kids and told them that sperm are what dads give moms to make a baby, as they watched the baby making program (don't worry it did not show the sex part, and if it did that would have been the automatic channel change now kinda mode).
Edina asked me if girls had sperm too? I told her that girls had eggs. just boys have sperm, she laughed at Aidan and told him he had worms and moved over 5 feet away from Aidan.
They watched the whole show that was 1 hour, and asked a few questions but for the most part they were happy knowing how babies are really made.
At supper it was a normal evening of sitting at the table eating together as a family supper did include some yummy baby carrots from the garden, complete with the tails of the root on them.
little did I know that i was maybe not a good idea to leave them on.
As Edina stabbed one with her fork she was flapping the tail that was on the carrot around and said "look mommy its sperm!" I could not contain myself from laughing, Eric, laughing too said "well can you picture this at thanksgiving dinner with extended family and our kids doing this?" Edina while everyone was laughing put the big part of the carrot in her mouth and said between her teeth "look the carrot sperm is eating the egg"
NOTE TO SELF------take the carrot tails off before serving supper.
Well that's all for now, I know some people won't like this post, and I don't really care, This is the natural way of children and their imaginations.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
These days!
Well what can I say about the past 2 days since my last post..........hmmmm what to start with....good, sad or the not so good?........umm ok well lets start off on a good note.
In the last 2 days I have dropped another 4 lbs YAY, this weight loss thing has been a very slow process, with the summer break comes lots of hotdog, pasta/potato salad and all the goooooood summer food on the BBQ. which has made it very hard to stick to the eat healthy plan, but it has come to an end just like summer holidays are ending too. :(
Next week Aidan and Edna start back at school, they are bugging me the past few days of when they go back to school, Aidan did tell me he needed a break from me, not sure how to take that.
As for me, I loved the time with all my babies to myself for 2 months. but as they say all good things must come to an end.
The last few days have also been not so good for me heath wise, not sure if its do to my heart issues or something else, on Monday was one heck of a hot day and while working in the garden, I felt dizzy, I sat down for a bit but then woke up laying on the ground.....kinda scary, but not the first time it happened. I walked to the house where the kids were sitting watching a movie with the cool fans on them. I washed up drank some cold water, and laid down for a bit, I felt weak and sick to my stomach, a few hours later felt way better. the next day I thought I was ok but by night time I felt as if I had the flu, I was hot then cold, sweating like crazy and felt awful. as yesterday morning came Eric felt he should stay home from work to let me rest, I told him to go to work but he felt better being here with me.
gosh I love that man, he sure knows me well.
Yesterday marked the day of Byron's (my brother) angel day. 9 years ago we said good bye to him, and 9 years you would think it would get easier to handle, but it does not, it still hard to take. he was my partner in crime we did everything together growing up.
It was also 6 months that mom has been gone too. it feels like it been forever.
Last night dad and Lena called me, and Shelda came to visit. just to check up on me and see how I was doing, dad said that he knew this was a hard day for all of us to take, to try and find the good in the day, just like mom said to.
as hard as day like yesterday are, I sure am glad I got some good family standing with me. I love you guys.
Well I would continue to write but the day is started along time ago and the kids are fighting again. I'll end it here and promise you I'll be back in the next few days with a funny story about the 3 kids learning about how babies are made. you don't want to miss it. my guts still hurt from laughing.
In the last 2 days I have dropped another 4 lbs YAY, this weight loss thing has been a very slow process, with the summer break comes lots of hotdog, pasta/potato salad and all the goooooood summer food on the BBQ. which has made it very hard to stick to the eat healthy plan, but it has come to an end just like summer holidays are ending too. :(
Next week Aidan and Edna start back at school, they are bugging me the past few days of when they go back to school, Aidan did tell me he needed a break from me, not sure how to take that.
As for me, I loved the time with all my babies to myself for 2 months. but as they say all good things must come to an end.
The last few days have also been not so good for me heath wise, not sure if its do to my heart issues or something else, on Monday was one heck of a hot day and while working in the garden, I felt dizzy, I sat down for a bit but then woke up laying on the ground.....kinda scary, but not the first time it happened. I walked to the house where the kids were sitting watching a movie with the cool fans on them. I washed up drank some cold water, and laid down for a bit, I felt weak and sick to my stomach, a few hours later felt way better. the next day I thought I was ok but by night time I felt as if I had the flu, I was hot then cold, sweating like crazy and felt awful. as yesterday morning came Eric felt he should stay home from work to let me rest, I told him to go to work but he felt better being here with me.
gosh I love that man, he sure knows me well.
Yesterday marked the day of Byron's (my brother) angel day. 9 years ago we said good bye to him, and 9 years you would think it would get easier to handle, but it does not, it still hard to take. he was my partner in crime we did everything together growing up.
It was also 6 months that mom has been gone too. it feels like it been forever.
Last night dad and Lena called me, and Shelda came to visit. just to check up on me and see how I was doing, dad said that he knew this was a hard day for all of us to take, to try and find the good in the day, just like mom said to.
as hard as day like yesterday are, I sure am glad I got some good family standing with me. I love you guys.
Well I would continue to write but the day is started along time ago and the kids are fighting again. I'll end it here and promise you I'll be back in the next few days with a funny story about the 3 kids learning about how babies are made. you don't want to miss it. my guts still hurt from laughing.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Did she die because I told her it was okay to?
A question that runs though my mind a lot the past few months. I know mom would have died anyway, the cancer was just to much for her or anyone to handle.
2 days before she passed away, mom asked me while in the hospital if I would help her with a shower, she told me she could ask the nurses, but felt better if I helped her instead. I of course never had to think on it, I just did it she never questioned being a mom to us, she just did it.
I gathered everything up we needed. shampoo, body wash, bath poof, and clothes. we headed down the hall, mom in a wheelchair with her oxygen, and I was carrying her things. A nurse helped us get arranged in a shower room.
With mom being in so much pain it was a slow process, we only proceed when she gave the okay to.
The nurse left after mom was sitting on the shower seat. I got the shower running, got her favorite body wash (olay ribbons) and the bath poof. I got on my knees at her feet, and started to wash them.
I felt her hand on my shoulder and as I looked up seen her eyes filled with tears, and she began to cry.
I asked her if we needed to stop, thinking she was just in to much pain to continue on, she just cried, I asked her again what was wrong, she told me she could not fight anymore, "I am tired" she said.
And I told her it was okay to stop fighting, it was okay to die. I knew her pain was too much for her to handle.
The next day it was clear she had made a change and the doctors felt it was time to call in family to say goodbye.
I know she did not die because I told her it was okay to die. but deep down in the pit of my gut, I feel like I was the one who said to her it was okay to give up.
Its been almost 6 months since mom has been gone, and EVERYDAY I still ask WHY?
I needed her still.
did god not see that?
I keep telling myself he must have been to busy to see that, because now everyday I go though each day with a broken heart.
I miss her so much it hurts.
Will this guilt/pain just go away? I know its not my fault,
its no ones fault,
but a part of me says it is.
The time I had with mom was so good, we only had disagreements a handful of times, she was my best friend and the one person who knew me the best.
No one will love me like she did.
2 days before she passed away, mom asked me while in the hospital if I would help her with a shower, she told me she could ask the nurses, but felt better if I helped her instead. I of course never had to think on it, I just did it she never questioned being a mom to us, she just did it.
I gathered everything up we needed. shampoo, body wash, bath poof, and clothes. we headed down the hall, mom in a wheelchair with her oxygen, and I was carrying her things. A nurse helped us get arranged in a shower room.
With mom being in so much pain it was a slow process, we only proceed when she gave the okay to.
The nurse left after mom was sitting on the shower seat. I got the shower running, got her favorite body wash (olay ribbons) and the bath poof. I got on my knees at her feet, and started to wash them.
I felt her hand on my shoulder and as I looked up seen her eyes filled with tears, and she began to cry.
I asked her if we needed to stop, thinking she was just in to much pain to continue on, she just cried, I asked her again what was wrong, she told me she could not fight anymore, "I am tired" she said.
And I told her it was okay to stop fighting, it was okay to die. I knew her pain was too much for her to handle.
The next day it was clear she had made a change and the doctors felt it was time to call in family to say goodbye.
I know she did not die because I told her it was okay to die. but deep down in the pit of my gut, I feel like I was the one who said to her it was okay to give up.
Its been almost 6 months since mom has been gone, and EVERYDAY I still ask WHY?
I needed her still.
did god not see that?
I keep telling myself he must have been to busy to see that, because now everyday I go though each day with a broken heart.
I miss her so much it hurts.
Will this guilt/pain just go away? I know its not my fault,
its no ones fault,
but a part of me says it is.
The time I had with mom was so good, we only had disagreements a handful of times, she was my best friend and the one person who knew me the best.
No one will love me like she did.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
our miracle 4 years ago and today.
I missed getting Rhiannon's 4Th birthday posting in here, so I figured today was just as fitting to get it in here as her birthday, so here I go.
Our little girl Rhiannon Makenna was born on July, 29 , 2007. at 8:44am, and that day will always be etched in my mind as one of the scariest day of my life. a normal pregnancy at 38 weeks took a turn to anything but normal very quick.
This is Rhiannon just a few hours old, A grade 3 placental abruption theatened to take my baby's life, and at one point mine too.
I had not one sign or symptom of it. the doctors had no idea that it was happening to me. BTW signs and symptoms are bleeding, cramps, a very hard belly, and probably a few others, I had NONE of them.
It was not till I was in the C-section that doctors realized that we both were bleeding out very fast, what blood they could measure from me was 3 1/2 liters, that was half of my total blood volume,
Rhiannon was pulled out of me with no heart beat, was not breathing, and was blue/grey in color, she also had blood clots inside her lungs, which had to be removed before they could get her breathing tube in.
because of the large blood loss, and shock, it took doctors 5 hours to stabilize her so she could be taken to a children's hospital 4 hours away.
There she had to learn to eat with her mouth and not use the feeding tube, she had to keep her oxygen up on her own, and hold her own body temp too.
And after almost 3 weeks the doctors gave us the go ahead to go home.
It was such a great thing to hear and do.
With lots of physical and occupational therapy, a few pneumonia infections due to a hyperactive airway, she is 110% normal.and other then a big outty belly button you never know she was that sick.
This is her on her 4Th birthday. We were on a camping trip. notice the rubber boots with her bikini.
Look out world shes on her way............she still runs the show.
Our little girl Rhiannon Makenna was born on July, 29 , 2007. at 8:44am, and that day will always be etched in my mind as one of the scariest day of my life. a normal pregnancy at 38 weeks took a turn to anything but normal very quick.
I had not one sign or symptom of it. the doctors had no idea that it was happening to me. BTW signs and symptoms are bleeding, cramps, a very hard belly, and probably a few others, I had NONE of them.
It was not till I was in the C-section that doctors realized that we both were bleeding out very fast, what blood they could measure from me was 3 1/2 liters, that was half of my total blood volume,
Rhiannon was pulled out of me with no heart beat, was not breathing, and was blue/grey in color, she also had blood clots inside her lungs, which had to be removed before they could get her breathing tube in.
because of the large blood loss, and shock, it took doctors 5 hours to stabilize her so she could be taken to a children's hospital 4 hours away.
After the first night it became clear that the loss of blood ,and oxygen that happened, doctors did not think she would live off of life support, and if she did, she would only be able to just breathe on her own.
Little did anyone know how much of a will to live this child has.
The day I got to her side she was 4 days old and it was also the day she was taken off of the vent, the doctors were as shocked as we were, but we also knew we were not the ones running the show, she was.
I may have been the last person to see my baby and study her face, but I was the FIRST to hold her. 4 hours straight to be exact. I did not want to let her go, she was ALIVE and in my arms.
I spent the night at her side, and as the night wore on, she did not require some of the other support she was on, so they removed them.
By the next morning all she had was lines in her belly button, oxygen, and a feeding tube, she was able to be moved to a step down NICU.
And after almost 3 weeks the doctors gave us the go ahead to go home.
It was such a great thing to hear and do.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Some change!
Don't worry your still on the right blog, I just wanted to change up the name of my blog from "this crazy thing we all call life" to " the life experiment".
I figured that life really is just an "experiment" we are all just trying to make it work. and it will ether work or it won't, and hen it does not go as planed we simply try a different way to make it work.
So please continue to follow me in this life experiment. lets see where we go.
I figured that life really is just an "experiment" we are all just trying to make it work. and it will ether work or it won't, and hen it does not go as planed we simply try a different way to make it work.
So please continue to follow me in this life experiment. lets see where we go.
Some weekend details.
So this weekend was jammed packed full of stuff. and I did try to get a birthday blog post up for my little girl Rhiannon who turned the big 4 on Friday. I will still get it on here within the next few days but it will definitely be late. ;)
Every 5 years my family gets together and goes camping for mom and dads anniversary, (this year marked 35 years) we call it a family reunion because it was not just a marriage but also a family coming together.
Before mom died she talked about this camping trip, she still wanted it to happen even if she was not here, and it did, we still were able to laugh and joke around as if mom were still here, at one point I looked around and every person had a smile, it was so comforting to see that, mom still makes sure we can still laugh.
This weekend also was used to spread mom and Byron's ashes, something that was hard to think of doing and hard to do. but it is done, we all were able to scatter some ashes around and let mom and Byron have a final resting place.
As we packed up yesterday dad headed out on a road trip to Manitoba to visit his cousins, it was hard to see him go but he has been wanting to do this since mom passed away, I Think it was one of his goals besides medical goals for him to do, I am proud of him for the progress he has made, I am crossing my fingers that he comes back from his trip in one piece. (lol his driving scares that crap out of me, and he has a camper that hes pulling too).
Today is cleaning up the mess and putting all the camping gear away. and before I forget did I mention the mountain of laundry that needs to be done? well I on my 4Th and still have 10 to go. camping is such a great way to make alot of dirty laundry fast. lol BTW we rough it in a tent, so laundry seems like it doubles quick.
Hope everyone is having a great day.
Every 5 years my family gets together and goes camping for mom and dads anniversary, (this year marked 35 years) we call it a family reunion because it was not just a marriage but also a family coming together.
Before mom died she talked about this camping trip, she still wanted it to happen even if she was not here, and it did, we still were able to laugh and joke around as if mom were still here, at one point I looked around and every person had a smile, it was so comforting to see that, mom still makes sure we can still laugh.
This weekend also was used to spread mom and Byron's ashes, something that was hard to think of doing and hard to do. but it is done, we all were able to scatter some ashes around and let mom and Byron have a final resting place.
As we packed up yesterday dad headed out on a road trip to Manitoba to visit his cousins, it was hard to see him go but he has been wanting to do this since mom passed away, I Think it was one of his goals besides medical goals for him to do, I am proud of him for the progress he has made, I am crossing my fingers that he comes back from his trip in one piece. (lol his driving scares that crap out of me, and he has a camper that hes pulling too).
Today is cleaning up the mess and putting all the camping gear away. and before I forget did I mention the mountain of laundry that needs to be done? well I on my 4Th and still have 10 to go. camping is such a great way to make alot of dirty laundry fast. lol BTW we rough it in a tent, so laundry seems like it doubles quick.
Hope everyone is having a great day.
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