Time heals all wounds.

We've all heard the phrase, Time heals all wounds.

That may be true, but as with most wounds, a scar is what is left behind, and the memory of what caused that wound does not go away.  Just as it changes the look of something on the surface, it's a deep scar that forever changes who we are on the inside as well.  With time a wound heals, and over that period of time as the scab turns to scar, the scar goes through a time of transformation as well.  Scars start off with a purplish red coloration, and over time the color will begin to fade gradually over years to the color of our flesh.  

Much like a real wound, a wounded heart heals the same.  It takes time.  Over time, it doesn't hurt as much as it did in the beginning, and as it starts the healing process we feel the unpleasant tug and reminder of the hurt that caused the pain.  It gradually fades, but always leaves a reminder, a mark.  A mark that will permanently remain and forever changes the way we look at life is what is left.  It's our story.  We all have one.  We all have broken, scarred hearts and are aching to be healed.

We have to be broken to be able to be healed...but, is this what any of want, or ask for?
The answer is a resounding, NO.

I find though, it's a necessary part of life.  We can't walk in this world and expect to be spared of heartache, and hardship.  It will either grow us or destroy us.  We can use our hurts to help others or allow it to hurt ourselves.  No matter the circumstance, and no matter the depth of the hurt, we walk out of it changed.  Hopefully at some point for the better, but I know it doesn't always turn out that way for everyone.  I am finding in my hurt, as I heal that this sort of ache is deep, and the longing doesn't go away....the scar left a mark, one that will likely keep my heart aching for a time longer than I could have imagined.

We can't make our scars go away, but at some point they will start to fade, becoming less recognizable over time.  The scar is permanent, and it's a reminder of where we have been, and how we have made it through.  We all have our wounds that have turned to scars, and over time they do heal, and fade.

As our wound is turning to a scar, we are still learning all we can about grief and how it affects each of us differently, at different times.  The scar is still very visible right now...but going from the deep wound to a scar is progress.