UPDATE! on everything.

So tomorrow marks 1 whole month mom as been an angel in heaven watching over us with Byron. so much has happened in the last month, i still feel like its been months that we have been at this spot.
as much as loosing mom has hurt, we still have reasons to smile today, let me share it with you.
Yesterday dad and i went to the Cross Cancer Institute for dad to have a check up, up till now we keep a guard up knowing that with cancer anything can happen, we pray for the best but you also prepare to hear something you don't want to hear.
We sat waiting in a waiting area, and as dad sat sipping a coffee, i flashed back to September 15Th 2010.
Lena and I sat with mom in the EXACT same spot while we waited for the doctor to see us, to tell us that mom was terminal. with no hope to survive her stage 4 lung cancer.
I told dad we sat in this spot with her and showed him a picture of her in the waiting area to prove myself, he looked at me did not say a word.
We got called in, dad got weighed then taken into another room where the doctor came in, he talked a while then proceeded with the exam, a camera in his nose down his throat to look on the inside, and a good feel of his neck on the outside, some scraping on the inside of his mouth and he was done.
The doctor then said the most wanted news we needed to hear " NO SIGN OF CANCER".
those words at this time in life have so much meaning, they are the words of hope. I am so proud of dad.
We do still know dad will still need to have surgery on his prostate, and he needs to gain some weight back.
as for my weight loss, well i completely fell of the wagon, i know bad girl, but i am starting back on Sunday FORSURE, on a good note i have not gained anything back. :)
My babies are doing OK with loosing grandma, they talk all the time about her and miss her too, she will be missed for a long long time.
The days now even when i think of mom are not tear filled days and they seem a bit easier to get though, we had moms memorial this past Saturday and i think that helped some, a reason to move forward a bit,
 some days i feel so guilty for even moving forward,
 but as mom said there is no backwards ,only  forward, so forward it shall be.
i hope everyone is having a great day, I am because i am with my babies and we are making grandma a 1 month angel day cake. a double layer super chocolatey cake with frosting and chocolate curls from scratch and we will enjoy it with some cold milk just like she liked it.