The other day I tried to wright a blog post about all that Christmas brought us, I had it all done and ready to click post and for the life of me could not hit the post button, you see Christmas was not merry at all, I did not get to see my kids on Christmas morning instead i got to talk to them on the phone, we did not have a very nice ending to 2010 because the reality of both of my parents sick with cancer is catching up with us, Mom ended up in the hospital with a low blood count and was in isolation for 5 days and Dad fell into a deep depression and lost the will to live, so he ended up in the hospital gaining back his strength to fight and find his will to live again. They are both doing OK for now, and still need time to recoup.
I hate to know what 1 year will hold for us, or if we all will be here to see 1 year from now, we can only hope and believe we will be.
Some days I just want the time to stop and we just be in the now, but that does not happen, we must go forward there is no rewind, or stop button.
I know 2011 will be a true test in my marriage, my relationships with my sisters and understanding who i can truly trust in this world, some friendships will be broken and some made stronger, connections with old family members, and finally finding myself in the mist of it all.
I don't wish to say have a happy new year, I don't feel happy at all about it and to say the least i am scared of whats to come.
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