The Christmas Season!

So last year we spent our last Christmas just the 5of us in our old crappy house, and i remember telling Eric when we were putting up the tree that i was glad we were almost done with the house that was falling apart and full of mold that was making us sick, sure that house was the home we brought all 3 of our babies home to, but when a home is not the safe place for your family to be in and the cost to "fix" it was more than the cost of a new house, you got to make some changes. Some times change is a good thing, it makes it possible for one to grow, but sometimes the plan you have just never turns out the way you want it to.
Last year i dreamt of "one year from now" and now that it here i sometimes want to go back, i never in a million years would i ever think that the first Christmas in our new home would have the thoughts of wanting last year back, last year no one knew of cancer in the family, everyone seemed happy and other than our moldy house healthy.
Now we face the ugly fact that this might be the last year with mom and dad, and sure miracles happen and we may even have next year too, but to think to far in the future is unrealistic, so we take the now and hope for next year.
We are planning on staying here for Christmas and if we are all healthy (no runny noses) then we plan on going to mom and dads house after Christmas and spend a few days there.
I still have not found the way to tell my kids that their Grandpa does not look the same as the last time they seen him, there is alot less of him physically and mentally, i seen him last weekend and he is not the dad i remember, he is so thin, all my life he has been a rounder kind of guy, he is sad and never smiles, he used to always smile and joke around. guess i'm gonna have to tell them soon because they will see it in less than a week.
Mom is doing way better than anyone ever thought, the tumor has shrunk which is wonderful because the doctors all said not to expect that to happen, but has in return left mom in alot of pain, she is trying to take care of dad so he does not starve to death, and taking care of him is taking away from her to be able to relax.
I only have one wish for Christmas, and that is for mom and dad to be back to the mom and dad i remember.