So this is a question that has always been in the back of my head since i have been a teenager and now at age 30 and knowing that some time in the near future she won't be here, she won't be the person i call 12 times a day just because i miss her. and i am dreading the day i can't call and say "i love you mom" i will just be talking to her from my heart and hope she is there listening to me.
I talked to her yesterday and she said she did not have any regrets in life and that she was not scared to die, these words from her mouth were hard to hear because i am not ready to loose her, she is my mom, my best friend, the one person on this earth who truly knows who i am.
how does life go on with such heart break? you find it in your heart to go on, its hard to do, we all did it when my brother died, but mom won't be there to see us though it. instead she will be in our hearts guiding us though as she does now, just in a different way.
So for now i hold today just like i did yesterday and everyday before and say "i love you" to her and hear her say it back. because NO ONE WILL LOVE ME LIKE SHE DOES.
you made mom and me cry ! life is a growing mountain each time we think we are at its peak it explodes and the lava pours down but we always climb back up to try and reach the peak over and over again who knows if we will ever get to the top if we do then we must be in heaven :) loving you always your big sis.
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