Its been a while since my last post, I have been i guess what they call a bit withdrawn from life, I tend to my kids, do a bit of house work, do the minimum of whats required in life, i feel sick but i don't think its a bug of any kind just the workings of the grief/stress. I am working on it, some days are good, others are not.
So let me tell you whats on my mind these days.
Spring is here, and so it is supposed to mark a new beginning for most people, after a long hard cold winter so many are embracing it. I am too, some what, but still am stuck in my grief, and I know I am not alone.
Easter is on Sunday, and so is mom's 2 months in heaven, We are planning a family Easter gathering, kinda like we did for Thanksgiving, except without mom here with us, It makes me really look back and be truly thankful we were able to have mom for Thanksgiving, guess all her advice to us girls though life is really gonna shine though, because we are gonna have to wing this on our own, we can't ask mom how do you do this? or how much of that? so here we go, this is it, this is what we know, I'll make sure i post about how it all goes.
I was looking outside yesterday, and thinking i was gonna have to get my butt out there and mark out my "new garden" spot, and start deciding what I'm gonna plant, for sure I know beets. LOL i promised mom i would plant them so Lena could have her pickled beets (her favorite), and I am gonna have to make sure dad gets his bread and butter pickles too. I'm gonna have to raid her recipe stash to get her recipes for them.
Among the garden and endless yard work (new yard) the kids also want some chickens, for fresh eggs and fresh chicken meat, and at first i was kinda not going for it but with the research i have done on the hormones and crap the non organic chicken farmers use and the whole cancer thing, more and more i am looking at aiming for an organic/green house family someday, for me it just makes sense. its not just chickens but most of our meat from the store and produce, if you have the money and ability to buy organic than great but where i am and the cost of fuel to drive, i think we are gonna try this organic living thing, it will take time but i hope to have our home organic/green living in 5yrs. wish me luck. :)
Rhiannon goes next week for a follow up in her physical/occupational therapy, she was last there when she was almost 2, now she is almost 4, I know she is on target to where she should be, if anything it nice to show them how far she has come in her almost 4 yrs of life, from a baby that all the doctors said would never even breathe on her own, to this happy child who talks your ear off, and has so much to live for and teach others with her determination to prove everyone WRONG. I love all 3 of my kids so much and I am thankful everyday i have them, nothing comes even close to the love i have for my babies, when i gave birth to Aidan mom had said to me "now you can watch your heart walk outside your body" and boy was she right. X 3.
Dad has his next appointment for his next surgery, its May 18Th and we are all kinda nervous about it. lets hope it goes smoothly. I have all my ducks in order so i can be with him for it. agian i'll try and post more about how it goes.
Any way that's all for now from me, nothing exciting but it something. have a great day everyone.
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