My Day Today.

So I was not sure what to blog about today, it was a toss up between 2 topics, both important, and as a dear friend said "you should go with what you heart tells you", and shes right, this blog is my heart in writing for all to see, so even though the 2 topics are important, one of them is laying here at the tips of my fingers waiting to be put out there.

Here's my day so far:

My alarm goes off at 6am, one hour before I get the kids up and moving for school, one hour for me to sit and just be with my morning coffee and reflect my dreams from the night before (I'm a vivid dreamer, and need to process them out).
7am its time to wake all 3 kids for school, my Rhiannon goes to kindergarten every other school day for a full day,
They get dressed, I make them breakfast, make their lunches, pack the back packs, help the girls brush their teeth and hair, they do their morning chores and then get their snowsuits on as the bus comes rolling in the yard I  say "I love you, have a great day" and then they leave.............
I closed the door, turn around, and as sip my second cup of coffee I realize how cold and lonely this house feels when everyone is gone, I miss them all so much when they are not  here,
My days are filled with cleaning, cooking, laundry, and anything else that needs doing.

The first day all 3 kids went to school in September, I had such a hard time with it, it was the first time I didn't have any kids with me, I felt they didn't need me anymore, I felt that I didn't have purpose here at home anymore, then I reflected back to when mom would call me on the first day of the kids school year (Aidan and Edina)  just to see how I was holding up, she never lived long enough to talk me through Rhiannon's first day.
When  Edina started kindergarten mom told me that it was harder to let the youngest go because then your on your own, no kids with you,
some people would love that, but for me? no way, I miss my kids deeply when they are gone, so I imagined what mom would have said to me, and I use the time when they are gone to get the tings done that I may not get the chance to do sanely while they are with me, like grocery shopping, it seems to go oddly fast when its just me.

So here I am,

all alone,

and looking forward to hugging my babies again at 4pm.