no matter how it is you look at it,
that is how long it been since mom took her last breath, that is how long we all have lived life without her here,
but most of all that is how long she has been missed by all of us.
The day she passed away, we all thought at one point how it was that we were to live life without her here with us, It was not easy and still is not easy, and I know it does get better with time, but for now we can just live for today, besides a year ago, we had no idea where we would be physically, or emotionally today, and even though some of us have chosen to withdraw from what matters (FAMILY) we are doing OK.
When she was told by the doctors that there was no cure for her cancer, she did her best to ready us all for the day she would earn her angel wings, she did tell us it was not gonna be easy for us, and also told us that one day when the pain is not so raw, we would be able to smile and not cry every time we thought of her, she asked us to remember her and talk about her as often as we needed to.
I still can't believe its been a year, it feels like last week and at the same time feels like years have passed, I find myself wanting her back, but knowing if she was here the cancer would be here too, and she would be in so much pain.
Thinking back to the last few days of her life, and remembering dad as he held her hand and told her how much he loved her, and thanked her for all she had done and had given to him, has opened a side into my dad I never seen before, and to see him today, still making sure her wishes were and are full filled, is priceless.
If I was asked who my hero is, I would have to say I don't have just one, my mom AND dad are my heroes, they have taught me all I know, but most of all they are who I am today.
Today won't be easy,
but we are together and that is all that matters,
that is all she really wanted.
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